Rating: Probably NC-17.
Summary: AU. When Ianto Jones was six years old he was chased by wolves while playing in the forest near his home. One of them attacked. A month later Ianto is certain that the wolves have come for him again. His parent's brush it off as child's imagination. The morning after is one Ianto will never forget. Now he must live his life in Torchwood trying to resist his temptations and the things he craves while keeping all of his secrets. Will he cope?
Warnings: Werewolf!Ianto, Dark, Blood, Slash, AU, spoilers for Small Worlds.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except for way too active imagination. I'm not RTD or am in anyway associated with the making of Torchwood, if I was a certain series would have gone a lot differently and there would be less of some things and more of others ^^
Chapter rating: Pg-13? Higher?
Beta-ed by my favorite person in the world right now iantosgal . Again, I want to thank you for this.
Chapter 2, Different Worlds
Cardiff, 25th of November, 2006.
Ianto turned over once again under his bed. He knew he wouldn't be able to get some sleep as he had promised Jack. Even when he wasn't worried about having revealed too much about his past to anyone, sleep was hard to come by. He could go out for another run? Nah, the sort of running he was thinking of would kill poor Penny. He sighed and looked at his alarm clock (not that he ever used it). The red LED numbers declared that it was now 4:21 am and Ianto was seriously tempted to get up and go to the Hub.
He could always get ready- sloooowly -and go sneak into the archives and hope that Jack had kept his promise and was still asleep. That could work. Yeah.
So Ianto got out of bed, rousing Penny (who hadn't had much sleep either with Ianto tossing and turning all night), and made his way downstairs. He went straight into his kitchen and opened his fridge. A normal human would probably be very confused and/or sick at its content. Ianto organized his fridge like so; Top shelf: pork, bacon, ham, etc., middle shelf: anything lamb, bottom shelf: milk, water, eggs, cheese.
Ianto grabbed a pack of bacon and a carton of milk. He took a glass out of one of the drawers and poured himself some milk. He walked over to the small table in his kitchen and sat on one of the tall bar stools surrounding it. He ripped open the 500 gram pack and ate the slices of bacon it contained, two at a time. He could practically feel the wolf inside him devour the bacon, craving more as it was less than half-satisfied, just as it usually was.
It was nearing the end of the month, Ianto reminded himself. He just had to wait a little while longer.
He supposed it was similar to a human eating only energy-bars; getting the proteins, fat, sugar everything the body needed to survive but never getting what it wants. It was even worse for Ianto; the craving was a million times worse and Ianto's metabolism was much faster than a human's, so the craving was constantly there. Even the raw meat was not enough for Ianto, it didn't contain one necessary 'ingredient'. Blood.
A werewolf craves three things; raw meat, blood and sexual release. Ianto only allowed himself to Transform and hunt once a month. He was always careful to never return to the same spot twice so no one would become suspicious. And he never hunted anything but animals. Never. Ianto wouldn't even hunt animals if he had any choice but even with his monthly hunts, Parker had accused him of starving himself.
The pack Parker was a part of, Cobweb, fell under the category of 'average pack' and hunted once or twice a week. Ianto sighed. Sometimes (most often this time each month) he wished he was a part of a pack, but then he reminded himself that he was no pack animal. He was his own person and he would never be able to live under an Alpha's rules. And he knew he would never be comfortable with being an Alpha himself. Penny was quite enough for him- and she was just a dog! A whole pack of werewolves would be the death of him.
Penny herself sat in front of him, her ears a little raised, head tilted to the side slightly and staring at him with the largest brown eyes she could manage. He chuckled a little at her 'begging-face'. He should never have taught her that. He picked up two slices of bacon out of the pack and threw it towards her. She caught it in one swift move of her head.
The third craving, however, was satisfied a lot more frequently.
Ianto finished the rest of his bacon and returned to his bedroom and into the bathroom, peed, showered and brushed his teeth. He put on a suit, blue shirt, maroon tie. When he was dressed and groomed he went back downstairs. In Penny's room (located beside the laundry room) he filled her bowls, one with dry dog food and the other with water. He was putting on his coat when Penny appeared beside him.
"I don't know when I'll be home tonight, probably earlier than usual since Jack's now aware of you're existence."
He looked at her, she seemed a little frustrated at the mention of Jack. He ignored her since he knew she was being possessive the way she was every time he brought someone home for the night.
"So, you in or out for today?" he asked as he opened the front door.
Penny sat down. Staying, then. Ianto's lips turned upwards a little as he bent down to kiss the top of her head and scratch her behind the ears; his usual goodbye.
"See you later, then" he said, closed the door behind him and locked it, then walked over to his car.
When Ianto arrived at the Hub it was 5:30. Not bad. Ianto had made sure to drive as slow as he could without it driving him insane. Ianto hadn't been at the Hub for ten minutes when one of the computers started beeping.
Since the Rift has effect on the weather, Toshiko was developing a program to monitor strange weather to see if they could locate Rift Activity that way. Ianto printed out the information scrolling on the screen and put it in a folder. As he was walking to his desk he noticed Jack.
Oh, crap. Notice me not, notice me not, notice me not, notic... Fuck! He's turned around. Act normal.
"You shouldn't be here."
Damn! Ianto wasn't sure if the tone was scolding, confused or just simply surprised that Ianto had broken his promise.
"Neither should you" Ianto stated.
There was a short pause in which Ianto decided to ignore the big pink elephant in the room and continue his work. So he walked towards the computer again. Jack followed.
"What've you got?" He asked, pure professional so Ianto decided to do the same despite the strangely warm hand resting on his back.
Bastard, bastard, get it off, get it off!
Thankfully the hand was removed from Ianto's back.
"Funny sort of weather patterns."
Ianto looked at Jack, he was staring at the computer screen, completely, professional still. Ianto sighed and his shoulders sagged.
"I'm sorry. I did try, I really did try to sleep."
Jack looked at him a bit wide-eyed but soon chuckled softly and said;
"It's alright, I seem to recall making a promise myself and breaking it."
"No, I mean...I'm not one to make promises I know I won't keep. I mean, I knew very well I wouldn't get much sleep, that's what I'm sorry for."
Jack smiled. Ianto was cute when he was sorry.
"Makes two of us, then." Jack gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and walked back into his office.
The first major event of the day happened when Ianto was feeding Myfanwy. The pterodactyl apparently did not like shrimps and kindly gave them back to Ianto's suit. Pterodactyl vomit was not the easiest thing to clean. Luckily Ianto kept spare suits at the Hub.
When Ianto came back upstairs, wearing a two piece suit, white shirt and a white/black/gray shaded tie, Jack and Gwen were back. Jack took a look at Ianto, clearly noticing the change of clothes, grinned and gave him a wink before announcing a team-meeting in the boardroom. Ianto walked towards the coffee machine and prepared everyone's drinks.
The second event of the day became evidently major to Ianto when he entered the boardroom. Fairies. Faes.
Ianto had never encountered them personally but Cobweb's Alpha, Dale, was quite the storyteller and although he hadn't met them either, he passed the stories he had heard on. Many nights Ianto had spent with Parker's pack listening to Dale's stories and at those moments he didn't even notice Ianto curling up at Dominic's side.
Dominic had been Ianto's first male 'partner' (that would be boyfriend in werewolf, spouse and/or other things more committed is frequently referred to as 'mate') but not his first male partner. Apparently Dale's oblivion was limited to the storytelling hours since he had forbidden Dominic to date Ianto three months into their relationship. Dale was one of the more 'liberal' Alphas. Loners, like Ianto, were considered, amongst most packs, lesser wolves than those who belonged to a pack, and so Dale letting Ianto stay and participate in his pack's activities was more then generous. Deep down Ianto had known pairing with one of the pack members was pushing his luck. Luckily for Ianto, Dale wasn't Dominic's Master as he was Parker's, otherwise Ianto's head would have been off before he could say 'full moon'. Parker had often laughed and teased Ianto about his foolishness, but, of course, in Parker's eyes, Ianto was just an infant.
"...and the girl's cousin." Toshiko explained.
"I blame it on magic mushrooms," Ianto said.
"What you do in private is none of our business," Jack quipped.
No, it wasn't.
"These photographs were fakes,” Gwen argued, her voice filled with self assurance.
Maybe, Ianto wasn't sure. According to Dale's stories the Faes couldn't be captured on film. How Gwen could be so sceptical Ianto had no idea, though. Even as he listened to her arguments she sounded even stupider.
They worked for a secret organization in an underground base, capturing aliens, feeding pterodactyls, employed by an immortal man. In Cardiff! He couldn't say this all aloud, though, Jack didn't know that he knew, that he knew that she knew, too (try saying that when you're drunk!). And he was not about to tell him.
"Are you saying our machines can't pick them up?"
Jack shook his head.
You're wrong. Ianto thought. I can.
What Dale had told his pack and Ianto was that even though no one knew why, werewolves could see the Faes. Not just out of the corner of their eye, but actually see them. A Fae couldn't kill a werewolf either, nor the other way around. No one knew why that was, either. Werewolves knew almost as little about themselves as they knew the Fae.
But seeing a Fae was not really something one wanted. Even though they could.
Ianto (among others) suspected that the explanation had something to do with the fact that wolves didn't have enough 'corner of an eye'. A human's field of vision was 100° while a wolf's was 270°. A werewolf in human form's vision field was around 235° - 250°. They suspected that was also the reason why perception filters didn't work on werewolves, either.
"Gwen, Owen," Jack spoke up "we're going to check out this Roundstone Wood. Alright, let's go."
Jack stood up and the team followed leaving Ianto to pick up their barely-touched cups (minus Toshiko's who had taken hers with her).
Just before Jack, Gwen and Owen were off, Jack walked up to Ianto.
"Hey, um, I don't think it's really necessary for you to stay behind. Go home, I'm sure Penny will be happy to have you home before midnight this time" he said and smiled. It was a genuine smile and, if Ianto wasn't mistaken, slightly apologetic.
"It's no bother, sir. I can stay here as--"
"No," Jack cut him off "go home and tell her I send my love, I have a feeling she doesn't like me very much." He sounded so serious, it made Ianto chuckle. "If it makes you feel any better I'll call you if the world is about to end."
Jack shot him a grin this time. Ianto smiled back.
"Thank you, sir. I'll be sure to give her your love."
Jack patted him shortly on the back before heading off.
When the rest of the team were gone, leaving Ianto and Tosh alone in the Hub, the woman in question spun her chair around to face him.
"I'm sorry but I couldn't help but overhear...who's Penny?" she asked with friendly, but kid-like curiosity. "Is she, I mean, uh...your girlfriend?" she asked hesitantly.
"Hm?" Ianto looked at her, his brows furrowed. What was she saying? Then it hit him. "What? No, no-ho-ho," he chuckled. "Penny is my dog, actually," he said and smiled sweetly at her.
Tosh's face lit up with glee.
"Oh, really? I didn't know you had a dog. What kind of dog is she?"
Strange, Ianto thought. He had always seen Tosh as more of a cat person than a dog person.
"She's not purebred but I think she's mostly a Pyrenean Mountain Dog."
"Seriously? I love those dogs! My great-aunt had one," she said and smiled, happy that they now had something to build a conversation on, something they hadn't been able to do before.
"You can come see her sometime, if you like," he said as he picked up his coat he had folded on the couch when he had arrived that morning.
He truly meant it, Toshiko was the team member he had a feeling he could be best friends with.
"Yeah, I think I'd like that" she said smiling. She had a lovely smile, why Owen didn't notice, Ianto hadn't a clue.
"Alright. Barring a disaster I'll see you tomorrow," he called to her as the cog door rolled open.
She waved goodbye right before he disappeared out of sight.
"Hey, girl" he said happily as Penny rushed towards him, waggling her tail merrily. “Told you I'd be home sooner than usual, didn't I?"
He took of his jacket and hung it in the wardrobe in the foyer, before walking into the kitchen and looking over the content of his refrigerator and grabbing a steak. He hadn't eaten much of the pizza they had ordered, he never did, to him it tasted like paper and glue.
"Oh, yeah," he said as Penny entered the kitchen. "Jack sends his love."
Penny made a sound that would most likely be the equivalent of a human tsk-ing.
"Oh, c'mon, he's making an effort and he let me go home sooner to be with you. The least you can do is give him a chance."
Penny lay down on the floor, head on her crossed forefeet, with an expression that clearly said 'I suppose'.
"Good." Ianto sat down at his barstool and put his raw steak on a plate, glass of milk and cutlery on the small rounded table.
This was where he always ate. There was a large mahogany table in the dining room next to the kitchen, but that hadn't been used for probably ten years or so now and sitting alone at a table that could be used by fourteen or sixteen people was just way to lonely.
Once he finished eating he grabbed his phone and lay down on his large sofa. Penny came soon afterwards, jumped up on the sofa and lay a little over Ianto's feet, resting her head on his stomach.
He smiled and started stroking her head with one hand and dialled a number he knew by heart. Then he got a voicemail he also knew by heart. He sighed but left a message anyway.
"Parker, hey, it's me. Um, I...I could really use your advice on something and- don't worry, it's nothing to do with Lisa, that's, um, all over. I just, yeah, I could use your advice and also...I could really use a friend, too, right about now. So if you could call me back as soon as you can I'd really appreciate it. Thanks."
He hung up and sighed again. He felt a tear trail down the side of his face sliding towards his ear. Penny was looking at him sadly and made a small whimpering sound as she pushed her muzzle into the palm of the hand petting her.
"It's okay, girl. I'm okay" he said, slid from under Penny and stood up. "Come on, wanna go for a run?"
She gave him her 'are you mentally unstable or what?' look.
"What? I'm fine! Seriously. This happens all the time, he'll call me back as soon as possible. He's probably out on business, y'know. He'll call back eventually."
Her look didn't change so he sighed and planted himself back on the couch. She went back into her previous position, only a little higher so her head was now on his chest. Ianto threaded his hands into her fur and turned on the television.
Advert, great. While his eyes watched some tall blond guy explain some blue device thingy, his mind wandered back a few months. Back to when he had last heard from Parker. He had helped Ianto get Lisa to Cardiff. He was furious and had tried to talk some sense into Ianto, who wouldn’t listen. Once they were in Cardiff, Parker had told him that this was it, he didn't want anything to do with 'this Lisa project', as he had called it. He had put his hands on Ianto's shoulders and told him to call him if he needed anything else, though, if it had nothing to do with 'her'.
Ianto felt like shit. He wasn't even in the mood for running. So he decided to satisfy at least one of his cravings.
It was 9 o'clock when he pulled up in front of some bar. It didn't take him long to chat up some guy who looked very similar to the father of the girlfriend he'd had when he was fifteen. It wasn't him, though, he would be much older, now. It was almost eleven when Ianto walked back out of the guy's flat and drove home. With him not having hunted for just under a month, now, it had been extremely difficult to control himself. A few times he had nibbled at the guy's skin a little to hard, breaking the skin. Ianto had grabbed the opportunity and licked and sucked as much blood as he could out of each wound.
When he stepped into his house he was greeted by a disapproving-looking Penny.
"Not now, Pen."
He walked past her and into her room. He filled her food bowls and went upstairs to take a shower, washing every evidence of the nameless man off his body. When he collapsed on his bed afterwards, he finally could get a few hours of sleep.
When Ianto arrived back at work the following morning at 7:30, his usual time (before the others), he knew something was up. Jack was definitely miserable. Ianto made Jack his usual cup of coffee but added a hint of honey and cinnamon. He walked over to Jack's office and knocked on the door lightly before entering. Jack acknowledged him with a forced smile.
Yup, completely miserable.
Jack usually used every chance he got at flirting with Ianto. So Ianto decided to take action, Jack had been there for him when he was down, now it was his turn.
The man in question looked up a little surprised at hearing his name instead of 'sir'. Ianto knew that Jack would take that as a personal conversation, and it was.
"You know, that thing you said about listening if I ever needed to talk? I just wanted to let you know; it goes both ways. If you ever feel the need to talk, I'll listen. It may surprise you, but I understand more than you think I do."
Jack was still looking at him, his mouth a little open and stunned into silence. Ianto gave him a small smile and closed the door behind him.
A few hours later when Ianto was in Jack's office fetching his coffee cup, he saw a few photographs spread around the table. One was a wedding photo. The groom was Jack. It didn't come as a big surprise to him. Live as long as Jack had and he must have gotten married at some point. Ianto picked up the photo and turned it around. On the back was Jack's handwriting 'Me and Estelle' and the date of the wedding day.
It all fell into place in Ianto's head.
The next thing he knew (after putting Jack's cup in the dishwasher) he had gone to Jack and asked if he could be excused for a couple of hours, he had to get some things for Penny. Jack had replied saying that of course he could.
And now Ianto was walking towards the ring of stones the forest was named after. Once he was standing right beside it he saw a creature. A green creature, a strange creature, a frightening creature. A Fae.
More appeared, some by its side and others closer to Ianto.
"A wolf walks among us," one said, the one Ianto had first seen, in a voice that sounded like a child's whisper.
"He has come here for a reason," another one, closer to Ianto, said in the same unnatural voice.
"And the reason for his coming is a reason," the one closest to Ianto said and they laughed. A bright innocent and completely terrifying laugh.
"Tell me, pup," the first one said "why do you seek us?"
He knew they were mocking him, that they already knew why he was there.
"You've done wrong."
"Tell us, pup, what is it we've done?"
"Estelle Cole. There was no reason for your killing her."
Ianto was now angry and a deep rumble arose in his chest.
"There's always a reason, wolfling," the third one stated.
"And in her case it was?"
"She would weaken the Immortal. The one who is constantly in the way," the first one hissed.
"In the way," the others agreed. "Backwards and forwards, through time."
"Forwards, too? So it didn't occur to you that she might be the reason for his being in the way?"
The Faes stayed silent. It was answer enough for Ianto. He continued.
"So, I suggest you listen to what I have to say."
The rumble in his chest became even louder and he had to do his best not to Transform right then and there and attack the disgusting creatures before him.
"You stay away from the Immortal and do neither him nor his loved ones any harm."
"Why should we?" the first hissed and the others echoed 'why?'.
"Because I am telling you that if you do, you're only giving him all the more reason to stand in your way." Ianto turned around and started to walk back towards where his car was when the Fae spoke again.
"We will see you again, pup."
Ianto didn't see which one had said it but the rest of them laughed and cheered as they flew away.
When Ianto strolled through the cog door there was no one in sight except for Owen.
"Where is everybody?" Ianto asked confused.
Owen stopped to look at him.
"Um, Tosh is in the boardroom doing something clever with the weather program thing and Jack went over to Gwen's place, dunno why."
Ianto nodded and Owen stalked down to the autopsy bay. Ianto took off his jacket and folded it on the couch before heading up to the boardroom.
Tosh had just finished explaining something about the weather program when Jack entered the room, followed by Gwen.
"What's the weather forecast for today?" Tosh asked.
"Long sunny spells" Ianto answered.
Apparently the Faes were now hanging around a school. The chosen one's school, no doubt.
Ianto had known from the very moment the Faes were involved that this would end badly.
And now the team was stalking through the cog door, silent with grim expressions on their faces.
Owen dropped the medical kit he was holding by the autopsy bay.
"I'm out," he announced and headed for the door.
"Me too," Tosh said and followed Owen.
Gwen didn't even say anything, just headed for the boardroom.
Jack, however, stalked into his office and (he wouldn't say slammed but) closed the door harshly behind him.
Ianto almost threw his hands up in exasperation. This team was like a dysfunctional family sometimes! He swiftly turned around and headed for the Archives.
Ianto was sitting by the desk in the Archives and working on his werewolf-project when he heard footsteps.
He had decided to log down most of the things he knew about werewolves since the whole of the W-Project had been lost when One burned. It was why Ianto had been hired at Torchwood One in the first place. Parker was already a part of it and offered Ianto to become a test subject, too. Ianto had dropped out of Uni and accepted his offer once he saw the 0s on his pay check. And all he had to do was turn up for a monthly examination and tests.
Officially he had been given the title of 'Junior Researcher' while Parker was an 'Archivist'. It was probably the best job he could dream of. When he was not surrounded by a bunch of people in white lab-coats holding syringes he and Parker were goofing around in One's Archives.
Jack stood in the doorway looking heartbreakingly sad and vulnerable.
"Can we talk?"
Ianto smiled a soft and understanding smile.
He quickly closed his folder and put it in the desk's top drawer before locking it. He just gave Jack an enigmatic smile as an answer to the questioning eyebrow directed at him.
"You know, I think there's some Barcelona Spring Wine around here somewhere -the planet, though, not the city- if you think it'll make talking easier."
"What?" Jack asked shaking his head like he was trying to rid himself of some tics. Ianto chuckled at the metaphor.
"Summer Wine. From the planet Barcelona. In the Archives." Ianto broke the sentence down as if he was talking to a five year old.
"Right, sure. But don't make a habit of it, though, drinking alien liquors we've found outside," Jack said and gave him a small smile. He followed Ianto down the rows and rows of files and cabinets.
"Wanna risk it?" Ianto raised an eyebrow as he stopped beside one of the cabinets.
"Sure. What’s to risk?" Jack couldn't help but enjoy the view as Ianto bent down to open the bottom drawer of the cabinet.
Ianto chuckled. "Parker and I worked in the Archives at One. Needless to say after having worked there for what must have been...almost three years then..." Ianto straightened up holding a big black box and his brows were furrowed. "Anyway, we pretty much knew anything and everything down there and one day we stumbled across some Hyper Vodka..."
Ianto let the sentence hang in the air and grinned at Jack before sitting down on the carpeted floor. Jack sat opposite Ianto and stared at him open-mouthed.
"You. Did. Not!"
"Yes. We. Did! I mean, c'mon! I was...must've been 21 at the time and there's a reason for Parker often being referred to as 'the Prankster'. Anyway, once we were caught, they made sure to not put it somewhere within our reach."
Jack's eyes widened. "Are you telling me you and your best friend stole Hyper Vodka from Torchwood One's Archives, got caught and kept your job?!"
Ianto just grinned and shrugged.
"The only thing you'd consider any sort of punishment was we had to get a...um, medical exam twice a month instead of once and the needles were twice as big."
"Who the hell did you shag to get away with that?" Jack asked, stunned, as he watched Ianto open the box and pick up the square 'bottle' and pull the tap apart so it became two glasses.
"Me? I took care of about half the staff, Parker the other." He grinned as he poured the thick purple liquid into the glasses and handed one to Jack.
Jack was so surprised by Ianto's revelations he almost dropped the glass. "I feel like there are two Iantos here."
"I'm definitely not the man you thought I was, Jack." There was humour in his voice but Ianto couldn't help but thinking of how true that statement was.
There was a pause before Jack took a large gulp of the Spring Wine (it was the correct way to drink it) and started talking.
"So, the others aren't speaking to me." He looked into the purple drink in his hand, processed from the purple roses that only grew in spring on Barcelona.
"I noticed" Ianto said truthfully.
"Am I really such a horrible person? I mean, I think it was the right thing to do. That little girl, or the world. And she wanted to go." He took another large gulp of the Wine.
There was a short pause before Ianto started speaking.
"It's a strange thing, the human brain. It can shut out memories we want to forget, it can make us see things that were never actually there. And sometimes it's actually rational but most of the time it's not. We decide to do something that we know we shouldn't or don't do things we know we should. We get angry at people for doing something we know is wrong or don't do things we know is right. And sometimes..." Ianto stood up only to sit back down again, but this time beside Jack, shoulder to shoulder. "...sometimes we are mad at ourselves because someone else made a difficult decision that we know deep down that we ourselves would never have been able to."
Jack and Ianto looked at each other. Jack had tears in his eyes that fell down as he bent his head to rest against Ianto's shoulder. Ianto put his arm around Jack.
"And some things are simply not ours to decide and so we have to live and deal with someone making our choices for us,” Ianto whispered.
Both men were crying now, both for lost loved ones.
A/N: Complete! Woah, this chapter took me a whole day to write because I spent a lot of time doing reasearch on topics I ended up not using or not getting -.- Oh, well, I consider myself all the wiser about architecture in the 1600s and none the wiser about what sort of car Ianto has. Anyway... I hope the chapter wasn't too long 0=)